I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
bring money and cleavage
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
