giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
