party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
