She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
