Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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