had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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