This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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