I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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