He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
My feet surprised me
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
