I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
