I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
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