Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I skipped work to stalk him.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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