Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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