You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
