We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
