I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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