why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
