you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
