i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
My liver is preforming stress tests.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
