You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
