Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
