so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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