Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I could make wine with my vomit
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
