I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
