After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
