$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
