I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
