respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
