is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
