it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
He felt like a one man threesome
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
