i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
You took a bar mat shot.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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