I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
