There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
