why didn't you poke me back
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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