Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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