Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
