I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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