she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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