i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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