I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize