the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
