meet me or not, i'm out of control
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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