I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize