Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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