So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
