I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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