All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Randomize
