Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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