of course. lets lasso hookers.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Randomize
