i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
