I'm so fucking centered right now
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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