i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
