so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
