the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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