Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
