I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
