That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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