I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
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