"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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