What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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