Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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