Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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