Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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