Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
