More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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