if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
and she was petting her beer can
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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